Tuesday, April 7, 2026

The Sunshine Shoals Gazette

"All the News That's Fit to Regret"

Invasive Burmese Python Wins Local Elementary School Science Fair with Shocking Presentation

A 15-foot python owned by a fifth-grade student demonstrated unprecedented problem-solving skills during the Sunshine Shoals Elementary science fair, solving a complex maze and apparently understanding basic trigonometry. School officials are simultaneously impressed and terrified.