Sunday, March 1, 2026

The Sunshine Shoals Gazette

"All the News That's Fit to Regret"

Florida Man Condo Carl Launders $383 Through Mattress Store That Has Never Sold A Mattress

Condo Carl's Mattress Money Laundering selling "authentic" Florida swampland to midwestern retirees went perfectly, aided by a convincing brochure featuring photoshopped images of non-existent waterfront property. The parcels were actually underwater conservation zones, but the glossy marketing and Condo Carl's Ray-Bans convinced three separate buyers to wire $383 sight unseen.