Sunday, March 1, 2026

The Sunshine Shoals Gazette

"All the News That's Fit to Regret"

Marine Memorabilia Entrepreneur Steady Eddie Transforms Gator Teeth into Gold

Steady Eddie Martinez cornered the market on "emergency iguana removal" in southwest Sunshine Shoals, charging wealthy homeowners $110 to chase away reptiles that were either plastic decorations or completely harmless. His uniform, consisting of khaki shorts and a shirt with numerous unnecessary pockets, lent him an air of zoological authority.